she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
