if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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