I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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