Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
im holly from the hills drunk
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Randomize
