after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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