That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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