I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize