he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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