I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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