Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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