So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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