The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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