watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
