Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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