A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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