Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
