so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
