beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize