you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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