Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I bet he comes in French.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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