I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
