I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
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In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
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Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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