ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
