i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
