Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
In America we eat man semen.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
