let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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