Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
