I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
