Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
You are a genius and a whore.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize