just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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