508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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