as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
you never un-have a 4some
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Randomize
