Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
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She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
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He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I'm getting married
To pizza
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize