their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
