How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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