Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
