I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
