I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
