R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Naked Twister starts at high noon
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
