Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
