3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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