god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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