That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Randomize
