your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
