I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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