found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize