butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
