She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
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He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
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I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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