2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
