Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
