My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
