she woke up with a sticky ear
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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