Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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